Let me take you on a tour of some of the fascinating animals that you might come across when you are facilitating groups (or for that matter participating in a meeting or gathering of any kind).
By the same token, I’m giving an idea or two about what you can do with these crafty creatures…
I wonder what other animals you have spotted in this zoo 🤔
The HIPPO
He (they tend to be males) is difficult to avoid, because he’s the obvious, big body, big mouth, big ego animal. The ‘HIghest Paid Person’s Opinion’ is usually the one that seems to trigger so many people to face their first ever facilitation question: ‘how do you dim the loudest voices so we hear other perspectives?’ And yet they also have a role to play.
My two cents with this one: find out who they are in the first place, make sure to thank them for the initial energy they inject in the conversation, while ensuring a diversity of participation formats so other animals manage to make themselves seen behind the big butted bubbly beast 😉
The cats
I love cats. Just not always in meetings. They tend to really do what they want, not listen, get distracted, get confused, sleep, argue on the side, check their phones. Herding them is not an easy task, and the thing is, if you don’t intervene, cats tend to get increasingly out of hand or even downright feral.
My two kurus: Call out the cats and notice what cat-o-rama you are seeing in front of your eyes. It tends to grab the cats’ attention and get them to play along with you more. But there’s still a risk they run back to their cat-ness if you let them do so ha ha ha
The old monkey
Many groups tend to have one of those wise voices. The old monkey that knows all (or most of) the tricks. They sit quietly, speak out frugally but their voice creates silence, because of the tone they use (usually calm, grounded, devoid of strong emotions) and of the quality of their remarks. People heed their advice. They also tend to be so wise that they are not there to beat their chest, sing their own praises (contrary to perhaps the old parrot who keeps rambling about how they did things in the past) or shape the conversation to just serve themselves. They see through, they know about the preciousness of time, presence, attention and intention, they are there for the long game, for real tangible change, for positive results. They’re a gift when they show up.
My two fils on it: Let them be, and if appropriate (with their assent), give them a role to frame certain conversations, to help everyone hear each other, or to summarise where the group has landed at any given time. They are a great ally and a privilege to count in your group.
The deer
If you see the deer, it’s because someone has put their headlights onto it, and that means they are in a difficult place. They are shocked, they are frozen, and they need some sort of support.
Usually after some attending to they tend to run back in the forest and disappear again, but if you don’t attend to them, they may turn into a sloth, withdrawn and onto themselves, or they might turn into one of the most malicious types of feral cats…
My two kopeks: If you spot a deer in the headlights, turn all your attention to it, empathise with it, perhaps let them share more of what is happening for them, let the emotions run, and once they seem to be feel ‘seen, heard, respected‘ enough the deer goes on with the flow…
The chicken
Like the deer, the chicken is afraid, just not in the same way or with the same intensity. The chicken would like to cross the road, but it fears the cars. It would like to fly, but it fears its own inability to do so. It would like to call the elephant, but it’s afraid to wake it up and all the animals around it. The chicken has a lot of opinions, but it takes more effort to draw them out of it.
My two kobos: Invite the chicken(s) to find its inner phoenix by creating a safe space (through individual reflection, small group interactions, writing instead of speaking, listening to it without interrupting the chicken, progressively challenging the chicken more and more to find its courage). At some point the phoenix takes off and it’s a beautiful show!
The unicorn
This one is actually an animal that no one has seen, but many people are talking about it and want to see it. Whether it’s that elusive silver bullet, or the be-all end-all strategy, or the definitive and neat proposal, or the 100% agreed complex agenda, it’s an animal that perhaps exists, but then in a parallel universe. It sounds like a really beautiful animal, but then I look at all the other animals in the room and I find them just as beautiful in their own right as a unicorn might be.
My two pennies: tell your clients to stop focusing on this mythical animal, and to play with real, live animals in the room, that’s so much more fun and productive…
The elephant
Much like the unicorn, the elephant is usually invisible. Yet it often -and sometimes definitely- is in the room. You can smell it, but just can’t see it, at least not entirely.
Then you put seven different blindfolded persons to describe how they’re feeling it and it starts making sense… Oops, I might be talking about two different elephants actually 😉
In any case, this elephant makes itself felt in a way or another, and ignoring it is not serving us, also because it’s really taking much of the space that we have to do other things.
My two rupees: if people smell the elephant, get them to call it out, and invite others to add their own rallying cry to the elephant. The more people acknowledge that it’s effectively here, the more helpful it becomes as either a crucial obstacle that can be removed (to make more space for other important matters) or as an animal that really needs taking care of so it can vacate the room happily and leave the space to everyone else…
The rat
Now you’re really not in luck if you come across this one.
If you smell it, there’s something way more annoying than an elephant in the room. There’s a toxic presence that needs to be confronted in a way or another. Because if you don’t address it, the rat will intoxicate others in the room and spread its toxicity rather quickly.
My two rat’s asses about it: I’ve never really had to deal with such characters, so all I can say, if you face them is ‘good luck’ and ‘tell us how you dealt with them’ 😉
The whale
This amazing animal is not always spotted in gatherings. Dare I say it’s not seen enough in human meetings and gatherings? But when you’re having a wonderful time, it comes out to the surface and sings happily with everyone around. People are having a fun and having a W—- of a time with it!
My two sen: if you spot the whale, embrace it, enjoy it, celebrate it, cherish it. It’s precious time 😀 We should all strive for whaleful gatherings!
The wolf
The wolf comes in two flavours (at least): the lone one, and the one dressed in sheep’s clothing.
The first one is easy to spot: it’s indeed alone. Out of sorts with the rest of the group. Not necessarily happy to roll with the vibe of the group. But with a bit of dedication and respect for their style, they can prove their wolfy experience or even wisdom quite handily.
The other one is by definition less easy to spot because it’s disguised, but eventually, they reveal their canine smiles and their razor sharp attacks. It could be that they genuinely have a vested interest against the meeting itself, or some constituency present there – be it a person or an institution represented.
My two Øre: Creative activities that put people outside of the comfort zone and ‘business as usual’ are both a great way to divest some of that wolf-in-sheep-skin animosity and to channel it into the collective dynamics. I also always check what tensions might be there about content or relations ahead of any gathering, so I get better prepared to deal with that dangerous variant of the wolf. As for the lone wolf: just let them be, they take care of their own learning and participation.
The sheep
They love following each other.
Group think.
Business as usual (“we’ve always done this, why change now?”).
They look harmless but an army of sheep is more difficult to navigate than a wolf in sheep’s skin. And if they realise the power in their numbers they can really try and derail whatever it is you and others are trying out with the group. Some would say that they come out especially during brainstorming sessions, but the reality is they could show up anywhere, especially if critical thinking is not stimulated and if there’s not enough trust and psychological safety to express themselves.
My two yuans: try and get your sheep to find their true colours. Having a multi-colorful herd of sheep is already a major improvement. So find ways to cultivate their own expression and their ‘identity’ even starting in ice melters etc. And the same tactics as for the chickens probably work by and large…
Who are we then? Zoo keepers?
Are we – when facilitating – the keepers of this colourful zoo?
Not really, because these animals largely take care of themselves, though we do prepare the ground for them to reveal themselves and find a place in the zoonotic choir.
At our best, we might be animal whisperers, reaching out and connecting deeply with each and every one of these beings, encouraging them to offer the best contribution they can. Effectively letting them fly. And if we are at our most successful, we manage to make the choir of these creatures sound more like ‘le carnaval des animaux’ than a jeering and jarring cacophony.
What other animals have you spotted in your gathering whereabouts?
Related stories
- Dealing with the sticky elephants in the social room, and how simple facilitation can help
- Time, the ever-present elephant in the room of our meetings (1/4)
- How you show up as a facilitator, with all the ‘micro-ecosystem’ you bring along
- “Gosh will you just shut up?!!!?” Unpacking ‘challenging communication styles’ in NDB’s Friction lab
- We > Me, but we still need all ‘I’s’ on board and on the prize…
- Shaking up the other plenary dinosaur: Panel discussions – redux
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