I’ve been tempted and finally gave in to explore a whole series of posts on the theme of ‘wicked questions‘. As mentioned on LinkedIn last week I will be posting reflections on the paradoxes that I am -and probably more of us are- facing here and there.
One of these paradoxes is this:
How is it that we facilitators pay attention to the profile, background etc. (the bagage) of our acticipants to understand their inputs, and at the same time we tend to ignore or quickly dismiss all the bagage that we bring when we facilitate?
Rather than bagage, it’s more like a ‘zoo’ or a ‘micro-ecosystem’ we bring along.
Whether we like it or not, when we come to facilitate in a gathering, we come with:
- Our beliefs and values
- Our outlook on life
- Our hopes
- Our assumptions
- Our mood
- Our fears
- Our comfort zones
- Our comfort with discomfort (in other words, our level of ‘confusiasm‘)
- Our strengths, qualities, skills, knowledge
- Our weaknesses/improvables
- Our knowledge of ourselves
- Our own idea of our identity, of what we do and don’t do etc.
- Our ideas
- Our preferences
- Our prejudices
- Our demons
- Our triggers
- Our relative health, fatigue, condition
- Our toolbox
- Our flexibility, openness and ability to adapt
- Our positive inclinations towards some people or types of people (even if our vow is to be there to help everyone do their best thinking)
- Our facilitator signature (more about this here, and by the same token an opportunity to develop your own signature)
- etc. (as in ‘end of thinking capacity’ but I’m sure you can add quite a few entries to this list)
IT’S A LOT!!
And ignoring all that micro-ecosystem risks us falling short of our standards, authenticity and potential results with the group at hand. It means we might lose the beat, the patience, the listening ear, the ability to pivot quickly, the will to challenge ourselves…
I could start to unpack all of this in one post, but there’s too many layers here. Instead, I’ll rather unpack some of the main ‘pillars’ that help me -and perhaps others- be fully present with everything that I bring along. This thinking is enriched by an NDB session (only accessible to members, sorry) that I just attended, hosted by the amazing Michelle Howard.
So what helps me be present in the best possible way:
Work (preparations)
That’s the given. All the work I put ahead of time to ensure a gathering or process will be effective, enjoyable, healthy. That’s where our attention usually goes (and might risk staying at) as facilitators.
Health
Everything I do to stay in good health: maintaining a good sleep routine, eating well and balanced, physical exercise and mental/emotional well being.
Openness
How I remain open to others, anybody in the group; how I remain open to timing of activities and letting my agenda ‘breathe’ (which I don’t do enough of); how I remain to all the unexpected things that might happen, from high emotions, conflicts, entirely different avenues offered by the people in the gathering etc.
Learning
The measures that allow me to infer insights and adapt for ever more effective, enjoyable and healthy interactions and results. This includes observation, reflection, feedback, experiments with a theory about the possible outcome etc.
Introspection
Whatever I do to be and remain curious about who I am, what I do, my theory of myself, what I like and don’t like etc.
Grounding
How I create the conditions to offer the best version of myself. Particularly at the onset of a session.
Authenticity
How I stick to my deepest values, beliefs, vision, signature, referring back to my theory of who I am…
Sharedness
How I connect with others, my empathy, the informality and other things that help us build trust with one another.
Jolts (of disruption, freshness, confusiasm)
The little things that keep me and the whole group on our toes by changing the dynamics, tone, expectations, our experience at large.
So, while waiting to unpack some of that, what are the things that keep you present and offering the best version of yourself? What are your little secrets to keep well and tuned in? And what else is part of your ecosystem?
Let’s trade secrets!
PS. And if you’re interested in working on this ‘self as instrument’ piece, during our 6-month support system we will also undoubtedly dive into that theme of how we show up.
Related stories
- We > Me, but we still need all ‘I’s’ on board and on the prize…We > Me, but we still need all ‘I’s’ on board and on the prize…
- ‘Facilitation’ as a life skill – another amazing reason to invest in it
- What do you do, as facilitator, when you are ‘clearly confused’ (and expected to be the one adding clarity 😜)?
- My 10 commandments of group facilitation
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